Twins Update: 11/27/11, 12:40 a.m.

Can’t sleep, haven’t updated girls’ progress for far too long.

NORAH loves to run. Especially down the hall and into my arms for a big lift to the sky.

ALI says “thank you” and “no thank you” so sweetly and softly it could melt brick.

NORAH pooped in the potty two weeks ago, but hasn’t done it in the potty since.

ALI is Queen of the Nap.

NORAH sometimes says she “doesn’t feel well “and wants to “go to the doctor.”

ALI had a giant purple/black toe which she barely complained about, although she had a wicked limp for several days.

NORAH currently enjoys dressing in Ali’s “Pink Batgirl” Halloween costume. Technically, though, it was Norah’s selection that we gave Ali at the last minute when we discovered her Ladybug costume was incomplete, and all they had left was “Batarina” — which was purple, Norah’s favorite color. (Kids are complicated sometimes.)

ALI likes to bring empty plates to the kitchen sink.

NORAH gets a kick out of sitting on top of my shoulders.

ALI knows how to push my buttons, and stares at me with mischief in her eyes and a wicked grin. (I’m a dead man.)

NORAH likes when Mommy fixes her hair and just tried a bit of makeup. ALI hates getting her hair fixed. BOTH love bathtime and splashing.

NORAH could watch the “Yo Gabba Gabba Live from L.A.” special and “Peppa Pig” reruns all day.

ALI rarely makes TV requests, although she does still enjoy “Bubble Guppies.”

BOTH girls enjoy sightings of the neighborhood bunny rabbit who frequents our backyard. I foresee some sort of bunny pet in our future.

 

 

Rant (Update): Speeding Ticket

Prologue for those 14 of you who didn’t read my last blog post (I’m assuming the rest of the world’s population read it):

Got pulled over on Saturday, 9/3/11 for allegedly doing 76 in a 65.

Called the Judge’s office as instructed the following week, they told me I “wasn’t in the system yet.”

Called again last week, told the same thing.

On to today’s call…

——————————

So now I’m finally “in the system.” I’m told that I have until October 21 to come in (oh yes, I have to somehow miss time at work to take care of this) and register a plea and/or pay the fine, which is $XXX (a three-digit number, removed on advice of legal team).

When I asked about points on my license, the lady told me that I could avoid them or any other issues by taking care of this by October 21. (No duh, I’ll do that.)

Option 1: Pay $XXX (removed on advice of legal team) in person, bringing license, insurance, registration and inspection (for the last two, cell phone photo is OK) and it’ll be “dismissed at that moment.”

Option 2: Pay $XXX (removed on advice of legal team, $70 less than Option 1) in person, bring license and insurance, and do Defensive Driving course.

Drum roll…

MY CHOICE: Option 1. I know how to drive defensively. I also know how to drive offensively. And pensively. And frankly, however many hours of time it takes to complete Defensive Driving is worth a ton more than $70.

Next up, get the money and all my little paperwork together, then find a day to head over to the Dallas County courthouse on Marsh Lane. Wondering if I can go at lunch, or will I be standing in a line for hours like the DMV. Hmm.

Checked Google Maps, it’s a 20-minute drive from the office. BUT, they’re open at 8AM. Guess I’ll go in late one morning.

You win, Dallas County. Just to make this silly ticket go away, I’ll pay you a few hundred bucks and waste a chunk of my morning.

I believe the word I’m looking for is “Ugh.”

Rant: Speeding Ticket

Got a speeding ticket on the Dallas North Tollway this past Saturday. 76 in a 65 near Wycliff exit heading north.

Although I don’t think I was actually doing 76, I’ll probably just pay the fine or do the online courses (or both). Typical fine is $250-300 or so.

Sure, I could be stopping a burglary. But this looks more badass.

I call the judge today as instructed by the quota-filler cop who pulled me over. I get a mildly annoyed representative on the phone who takes my information and basically tells me to call back — that my ticket hasn’t been filed in their system yet.

So I’m supposed to call back. As if I don’t have a job and family and things to do, I need to keep calling back while I wait for the “system” to get updated.

FACT: I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket since 1997 on the Atlantic City Expressway. I was doing a 1.5-hour commute, and got caught doing 76 in a 55. THAT is a stop-worthy offense.

FACT: The “violation” I allegedly committed last Saturday was “Speeding 10 percent or more above posted speed limit.” So math-wise, here’s your lesson:

–In a 75 MPH zone, you can do up to 82.5. (75 x .10 = 7.5; 75 + 7.5 = 82.5)

–In a 65 MPH zone, you can do up to 71.5. (65 x .10 = 6.5; 65 + 6.5 = 71.5)

–In a 55 MPH zone, you can do up to 60.5. (55 x .10 = 5.5; 55 + 5.5 = 60.5)

And so on.

I’m not sure why they went away from actually telling you how much your fine is on the ticket.

I guess it’s nice to give me an option where I can avoid getting “points” on my license — via the online courses.

It would be a lot nicer to either give me a cost up front or at least update your bureaucratic systems.

So I have to call back. You gotta be kiddin’ me.

 

Don’t Kill The Buggie!

Li'l Bee

Parenting is not for wusses.

The other day, I’m walking down the hall with Norah. A pleasant little stroll from the stairs to the kitchen.

And she starts to pull away from me, going towards something on the wall.

Instinct kicks in. It’s a bug. Spider? Poisonous? Is there a yellow recluse spider? What if it bites her? She was “the sickest kid in the NICU” two years ago!

I pull Norah back and yell for Shannon (she’s already in the kitchen) to grab a paper towel. She comes running with the towel, and I squoosh the bug. Several times. Just to make sure.

And Norah is crying.

I saved your life! What are you crying about?

Oh wait. You don’t know that some buggies bite and hurt. You watch “Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Kids” where bees and butterflies and spiders all get along and have cute adventures.

It’s OK, baby. Daddy’s sorry. But he didn’t know if that was a bad buggie or a buggie that we’d normally just shoo away.

Mean Daddy killed a buggie. Oy.

I repeat: Parenting is not for wusses.

Bad Daddy, Part 2

It’s been six days since It happened. And  yes, I should have blogged it sooner. (Hence the title.)

I mentioned in my last post how verbal our girls are getting. But nothing prepared me for this:

Friday, Ali flicked a mental switch. And all I could hear was “DADA DADA! DADA DADA!”

And yes, she was directing it at me. With increasing volume and joy at seeing me.

Cue heart melting into puddle.

And last night, just because she wanted to make sure she was mentioned in this blog post, Norah said — quite clearly, to both Shannon and me — “Sit down” whilst standing on her little pink chair. She then sat down, taking her own advice.

It feels like I should do this every day. I’m at work, but this took like four minutes to do. Am I too selfish and wrapped up in stupid things to capture moments like these? Answer: Kinda, yeah.

I promise to try to be better about it. Excuses abound, but that’s not fair. Some day in the year 2031, my daughters might be hanging out reading Dad’s old blogs (“How quaint!” they may chuckle at our primitive technology) and wishing that I had been more online-attentive.

I’m a writer, for Pete Rose’s sake. Paid for my skill with words. I should be better at this kind of thing.

Sorry, girls. Daddy’s only human. (Clearly, one of the greatest living humans, but still.)

Please don’t put me on a floating chunk of ice  when I get old.

Our angels

Bad Daddy.

I have been incredibly lazy/stupid/wrong in not updating the blogworld about our girls. Of course, I never get more than 100 readers (and that’s on a HUGE day), so this is really more for posterity than reader entertainment.

Ali has caught up to Norah and is walking around with speed. She’s a bit more verbal, and recognizes “ball” and “banana” and a variety of other words in print. She’s also eating better, although is still sometimes finicky.

Norah loves to give hugs and, as we discovered a couple nights ago, laughs hysterically at sneezes — especially fake ones that send your arms and legs flying. The sound of her laughter is completely infectious.

They are healthy, happy little girls who will turn 2 on April 16. (We are not expecting anything “terrible” about their “twos.”)

It has been an unbelievable journey thus far, and I eagerly anticipate every minute I can spend with them. (Being back at a full-time job with an hour-long commute cuts into Daddy Time, but I’m doing my best.)

And when they finally do figure out how to say “I love you, Daddy,” I completely plan on melting into a big fat puddle.

The Phillies in 2014?

In my “keeper” fantasy baseball league (I KNOW, nobody cares about your fantasy team — trust me, I’m going somewhere with this one), my fellow owners and I have to think not only about this year, but the years ahead.

For example, we have two annual prospect drafts of two rounds (although unlike the real world, we can trade draft picks) and unlimited “prospect” spots. So you can hop on someone like superubermegaprospect Bryce Harper (whom I traded for this offseason) and when he hits the bigs, keep him at a very low salary.

Anywho, all this preparation I’m doing for the upcoming season (yes, I’m the returning champ for the first time in 17 seasons) got me thinkin’ about my Phillies and their future.

Baseball America posts (for free) their analysis of each team’s minor league organization and top 10 prospects. But one of the fun things they do is try to project the 2014 lineup:

http://www.baseballamerica.com/today/prospects/rankings/organization-top-10-prospects/2011/2611043.html

Let’s discuss those 2014 Phillies, shall we? (Except for Manager, all other names are the BA predicted starters.)

 

MANAGER = Ryne Sandberg. This is MY prediction, based on nothing but unbelievably brilliant insight. And the fact that he’s the Phillies’ AAA manager this year, and Charlie Manuel probably will be hanging up his lineup-fillin’ pencil right about then.

CATCHER = Sebastian Valle is the guy that BA lists as the starter. And I defer to the guys like @phuturephillies on Twitter who are way into the Phils’ minors, as well as my top-secret fantasy resource (the founder’s name rhymes with Blon Blandler for those of you “in the know”) who has him as an 8D — meaning he’s an 8 out of 10 talent-wise, but right now a D (A being most likely to fulfill his potential) when it comes to hopefully developing.

1B = Ryan  Howard will be 35 in 2014. So he should still be solid and hitting bombs, although power hitters generally start to fade in their mid-30s. If he keeps himself in shape, he’ll be serviceable defensively and probably still hitting 30-40 HR. I’m wondering if he gets dealt somehow to the AL to become a DH by this point though.

2B = Chase Utley will be 36 in 2014. Another guy who will need to stay in shape, especially if he wants to stay in the physically demanding middle infield. He’d be the easy choice to slide to 1B if Howard was sent to DH-land.

3B = Placido Polanco will be 39 in 2014. I can’t imagine that he’ll be the everyday 3B. Gotta believe that there’s somebody in the low minors who will develop by then. If not, yikes. Or we go get David Wright as a free agent, as some bloggers/Twitterers have predicted. He’d better re-establish his value in 2011 for me to get on board with that.

SS = Jimmy Rollins will be 36 in 2014. But if 2011 is anything like 2010, Jimmy will be a backup or something else. Doubtful he’ll have the wheels/athleticism to stick there. BA mentions infield prospect Freddy Galvis as being the “best defensive infielder” and having the “best infield arm,” so I’m hopeful he develops with the bat and can take over by then.

LF = Jonathan Singleton is BA”s choice here. Which means that Jonny Boy, a 1B by trade, will have to make the transition to the outfield if Howard or Utley is at 1B. And with a developing bat like J-Sing (made that up myself, like it?) has, he’s a keeper.

CF = Shane Victorino will be 34 in 2014. Probably slower, probably still playing super-hard. But maybe more of a 4th OF at that point. Especially since the Phils have young speedster Jiwan James working his way up the ladder. BA has JJ listed as “best defensive outfielder,” “fastest baserunner” and “best athlete.”

RF = Dominic Brown will be peaking at that magical “age 27″ year in 2014. Hopefully, the Phils don’t mess up with the kid in 2011 after a 2010 season in which he came up and mostly sat — which doesn’t exactly help you become a better player. (I should know — look up my college stats.)

FUN DOM BROWN FACT = His middle name is Larun.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/b/browndo01.shtml

Anyway, love me some Dom Brown. Especially in 2014.

 

STARTING PITCHING: This was pre-Cliff Lee signing, so BA had Halladay/Hamels/Oswalt/Brody Colvin/Jarred Cosart as the 2014 starting five. Quick hits:

Halladay = All hail King Leroy. He will only stop dominating when he WANTS to stop dominating. Yeah, he’ll be 37. But he’ll be pitching on pure genius, and will take whatever’s left physically and make it sing.

Hamels = He’ll be 34. No biggie. Most lefties age well, and hanging around Halladay/Oswalt/Cliffie should smarten him up and make him effective for many years.

Oswalt = Like the “other” Roy, he’ll be 37. Again, genius. No worries here.

Clifton Phifer Lee = Will clearly be in this spot at age 36. And likely dominating. (Jeez, this exercise is REALLY making me crazyexcited about 2010!)

Colvin/Cosart = BA has Cosart has having the “best fastball.” Always a good sign. Gotta believe that either of these kids (or both), would benefit from being around R2C2, the Fab Four, the Phab Phour, or whatever they end up being called.

BULLPEN: Probably one of the hardest things to predict, since most bullpens are very volatile. BA thinks Ryan Madson will be the closer, and many agree that’s where he’s headed. The cool thing is that with the starting spots locked up for at least a few years, the Phils could turn some of the good young arms they have into power relievers and really have a strong corps.

Anyway, all things considered, it will be interesting to see how things develop as the core of this team gets older. Most experts agree that the current prospects in the low minors will be ready to start taking over around 2013 or 2014, so this roster could be WAY different than it appears above.

This was Phun! (Sorry.)

Catcher	Sebastian Valle
First Base	Ryan Howard
Second Base	Chase Utley
Third Base	Placido Polanco
Shortstop	Jimmy Rollins
Left Field	Jonathan Singleton
Center Field	Shane Victorino
Right Field	Domonic Brown
No. 1 Starter	Roy Halladay
No. 2 Starter	Cole Hamels
No. 3 Starter	Roy Oswalt
No. 4 Starter	Brody Colvin
No. 5 Starter	Jarred Cosart
Closer	Ryan Madson

Frankly, 38 feels just like 37.

It’s my birthday. The REAL New Year begins.

I resolve to get back to blogging more frequently, to lose 10 pounds (or more). and to stop making resolutions.

 

Today’s spam “job offer”

Kay Lott to shellymac35

 

Hello.
Our company Private Company is pleased to offer you a well-paid part-time job.
Your personal information has been reviewed.

Requirements you should correspond to: Must be US citizen.
If you are interested, please reply.

Best regards

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

1.       I  am not “shellymac35.”

2.       Not much of a greeting. “Hello. I am a robot.”

3.       “Private Company” is kind of a lame name for your company.

4.       That sentence is missing a few commas, too.

5.       I’m a bit worried that you reviewed my personal information without my permission. Did you see the photos from my colonoscopy last year?

6.       I’m not sure how to correspond to requirements. “Dear Requirements: Hello?”

7.       Gotta say, I’m kinda interested.

8.       No sign-off? Kay, I think you should really include your name. Otherwise, this might look like spam.

Twins Update, 10/3/10

Great weekend for our girls.

Saturday, Mommy had to work 7AM to noon. But when she got home, we got in gear and headed over to Frisco Commons. Which is simply one of the most gorgeous parks you’ll ever see. Great walking trails, awesome playground area, splashy water area for summertime, a nice little lake for you fisherpeople, and more.

At the playground, we put the girls in the swings for the first time — and they loved it. Even looked like they were getting the hang of it on their own, leaning into it to go further. Farther. Whatever.

After the park, we headed out to Firewheel. For those who don’t know, it’s a new and growing area near Garland and Murphy with a big new shopping center. (Locals: Think Southlake with less snobbery.) Got the girls new sneakers. Alex is a size 3, Norah is a size 3Wide. Strolled around the shopping center, considered doing the Build-A-Bear thing (I’d rather do that when the girls can pick and choose their own options).

Stopped for dinner at TGIFriday’s. Entered to a chorus of yelling at the Texas/OU game, which was ending (and not in a good way for the vast majority of UT fans at the bar). We tried putting the girls in booster seats instead of high-chairs, and they took to it just fine.

Although we tried having the girls use those “easier for kids” crayon things about a week ago, Norah grabbed her blue crayon (with her left hand) and went about drawing (mostly on the paper kids’ menu). She also showed a predilection for sirloin steak and sweet potato fries. (Daddy Note: I now LOVE me some sweet potato fries.)

Then the stroll back to the car, with a quick detour through the mini-carnival/fair they had going in the parking lot, as well as a run through one of those temporary Halloween stores. (Daddy Note: I’m not sure whose idea it was, but the “UPS Driver” costume for kids? Seriously?)

Older Lady: Hello, Trick-or-Treaters! Why, if you aren’t just the scariest witch? And it’s wonderful to see YOU, Spider-Man! Here, take a whole bunch of Three Musketeers!

Kid: What about me Mrs. Giffelheffin?

Older Lady: You’re a UPS Driver, kid. Here, have some pennies.

Anyway, Sunday was mostly stuff around the house and then headed over to Shannon’s parents’ house. Dropped off the girls and ran to the consignment shop, where we loaded up on warmer fall/winter outfits. One more stop at the supermarket (where I got my new Starbucks drink: venti iced mocha with soy), then dinner and home.

It’s likely that you didn’t find this as fascinating as Daddy and Mommy did, but it was a great weekend with awesome Texas weather. Oh, and I finished my fantasy baseball season as Champion. (First time in 17 years of playing. Future blog to come.)

Peace, grins, health and twins!