Rant: Advertising Job Search (& Welcome WAS readers!)

One of the sites I visit daily is Why Advertising Sucks, a multi-writered blog that covers pop culture, has funny “Top 5″-type entries, and of course, poops on advertising.

Here’s a mini-rant, dedicated to the WAS peeps and their many other devoted readers:

(Disclaimer: I am blessed enough to be currently employed and NOT searching for a new position.)

A colleague of mine (never worked with or even met the guy in person, but he’s a fellow copywriter in the DF-Dub, funny/brilliant/creative/etc. and we “met” through online networking) who’s currently unemployed hit me up yesterday, asking if I knew anybody interested in a copywriter gig.

Now why was this guy – who’s been at several of the “major” shops in the area – not even considered for the job? Because he didn’t have enough experience with the certain industry/market in which the major new client did business.

So this writer who’s been putting words together professionally for the better part of a decade, a guy who comes highly recommended by former bosses and colleagues alike, and a highly intelligent human being, is told that he’s not qualified for a position.

This is a problem that runs rampant throughout advertising. “If you haven’t done it, you can’t do it” is the attitude of many hiring-decision-makers (HDMs, for our purposes) in our biz, which is incredibly stupid. Eminently qualified creatives with years of experience and high IQs can’t “learn” a new industry?

Here’s a quick lesson on some of the “niche” industries that these decision-makers are so picky about:

• Pharma = Don’t say it if you can’t back it up or have Legal back it up. Have disclaimers ready for everything.
• B2B = Give up now. Mediocrity reigns supreme. Pick up any trade magazine and you’ll see 90% crap. Just ask the client’s company president’s wife to throw something together. Either that, or use a big-ass product shot. They love that. “Ooh, show ‘em our new flibbertygibbet valve!”
• High-tech = Buzzwords, buzzwords, buzzwords. Robust. Synergistic. Leverage. Platform.

Final message to HDMs: Don’t eliminate candidates who don’t have the exact specifications you’re looking for, because frankly you’re eliminating new, fresh perspectives on the industry/market. If they can write or art direct or run an account or buy/plan media for other types of accounts, they can handle yours too.

Rant: Jackass advertising clients

Actual, word-for-word comments on a series of direct mail pieces from a client (not mine, luckily – but I’m helping out this week while my colleague is on vacation):

“I think we need to work on the first paragraph as well because I think we are forgetting they most likely have [service with a competitor so they most likely have [service] already.”

“The whole first paragraph I believe is really soft.”

“2nd heading has terrible English.”

“I think it is cute but [Boss] doesn’t like cute.”

“What if they just stop right there rather than opening.”

“Something like that. Not copywriting but just an idea.”

“Remove the Cali fornication image.”  [Californication, starring David Duchovny on Showtime]

“Again not copywriting but it just isn’t clear on what we are saying right now.”

“Maybe we say something like again just throwing it out there”

I wish I could tell you I made these up. But I didn’t.

Advertising 101: Copywriters

No, it’s not a person who deals with copyrights or trademarks.

It’s a person who does two things:

a) develops advertising concepts, usually working with an art director or interactive designer; and

b) writes all the text for each tactic (whether it’s a print ad, radio/TV spot, direct mail piece, brochure, billboard, Web banner, e-mail, Web site, etc.)

It can be glamorous. It can be frustrating.

It can be fun. It can be boring.

How does one become a copywriter? There isn’t a “standard” path to take. Some come through advertising-specific schools like The Creative Circus or The Portfolio Center or the VCU AdCenter. Some attend “regular” colleges/universities and major in advertising or communications.

Or if you’re like me, you majored in communications and English (double major, thank you very much) and even went to grad school (for a degree that doesn’t really exist anymore: Master of Journalism, Public Relations & Advertising)

Based on my 13+ years in the biz, I can assert that most copywriters are clever, witty and tuned into pop culture. (Sometimes to a scary degree – just test me on Seinfeld or Cheers trivia.)

Some of us prefer the solitary, “alone in a dimly-lit room” working process, while others (like me) do best working in a cooperative, partner-or-team kind of atmosphere.

Although it depends on each creative person’s skill set, it’s not uncommon for a copywriter to come up with a good visual idea (or an art director to think up a great headline).

Personally, my favorite type of project is a radio spot. I relish the challenge of working in a non-visual medium, utilizing sound effects, music and voices to create a scene and attempt to persuade listeners to act. (Oh, and I love doing voices, too. I may post a list of voices I do in an upcoming blog.)

For samples of copywriting that represent some of my best work, check out my portfolio link at the top of the page.

And if you have any questions about copywriting, feel free to throw them in the Comments section.

Advertising 101: Class is in session

Seeing as how my greatest (and most viewed) blog entry of all time is The Pros and Cons of an Advertising Career, it seems that Web searchers might like to read my take on various roles within an advertising agency – as well as issues affecting advertising (and therefore, pop culture).

To be continued in my next blog…”Advertising 101: Copywriters”

Ad book I want to check out

Called “The Happy Soul Industry,” by Steffan Postaer. (He’s a big-time advertising guy.)

Apparently, in the book, God hires an ad agency.

Sounds like a cool concept.

Check it here

LiveBlog: World Series Game 3

12:48: I’m going to bed. It’s been a long night. But a good night!

12:47: Little chopper, going to be tough, Longoria can’t get it, Phils win!!! PHILS WIN!!!

12:47: Good eye, Ruiz takes outside. Count is 2-2.

12:45: Wow, that 96 MPH heater just blew by Ruiz.

12:44: Here we go, mi amigo Carlos. Bases loaded, no outs, bottom of the ninth. A run wins it.

12:42: So they’re going to walk Dobbs and have bases loaded with five infielders. If this works, Maddon is a genius. If it doesn’t, he’s a wackjob. Life is risk.

12:40: They intentionally walk Victorino. Maybe Maddon’ll do something weird here. Ah, maybe another intentional walk and a five-man infield. Sounds fun.

12:38: Holy Crap! Victorino tries to bunt, the pitch is wild, Bruntlett goes to second, bad throw to second gets away, Bruntlett gets to third with nobody out. He’s the winning run! LET’S GO!!!

12:37: I was kind of hoping that Maddon would make some really odd managerial move.

12:35: This Sprint “You want everything” romantic-movie-spoof is just horrible. It’s everything that’s wrong with television advertising. A bad, corny, cheesy premise and a big budget.

12:34: Bruntlett takes one for the team. Good job, son.

12:33: You know it’s a.m., so I’m not typing it any more.

12:32 a.m.: By the Beard of Bruntlett! C’mon, Eric!

12:31 a.m.: J.P. Howell still in there for Tampa? Not sure I like this move either.

12:29 a.m.: We need a hero. We could also use Bonnie Tyler singing “I Need A Hero.” Bottom of the 9th coming up.

12:28 a.m.: Buck messing with McCarver about his previous mistake (country of origin for Carlos Ruiz).

12:27 a.m.: Fans active now, waving those white towels (reminding me of surrender).

12:26 a.m.: Two down as Gross grounds out weakly to second.

12:24 a.m.: Heh heh. He just said “lefty on lefty.”

12:24 a.m.: OK, one out. Good job so far by Romero.

12:23 a.m.: I don’t like the way I feel about this game right now. And why are the fans not screaming? Is it too cold?

12:19 a.m.: Ryan Howard GOES DOWN LOOKING! Don’t these guys remember the FUNDAMENTALS??? Two strikes on you, and you SWING AT ANYTHING CLOSE! I can’t believe I’ve been reduced to using all caps. I’m tired and frustrated.

12:17 a.m.: Ryan Howard down in the count 0-2. Doesn’t look good.

12:16 a.m.: Some kind of crazy move, and Werth is picked off. Craptastic.

12:15 a.m.: Utley whiffs. Darnit! That pitch dropped off the table.

12:13 a.m.: Werth can fly for a tall dude. Steals second base, gets in scoring position with 0 outs.

12:09 a.m.: Utley Time. C’mon, Chase. Need a knock here.

12:08 a.m.: I have never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. Guess I’m a dummy.

12:05 a.m.: Werth walks! Werth walks! Werth walks!

12:05 a.m.: I like Jayson Werth. He has the potential to go 25HR/25SB next year.

12:02 a.m.: Another re-make. The Day The Earth Stood Still. Keanu plays another alien or quietly weird character. More importantly, are there no new ideas in Hollywood?

12:01 a.m.: Ah, good work, J.C. Romero. Crawford Danger averted.

11:59 p.m.: Coming up on 1:00 a.m. for my Eastern time zone family/friends. Wonder how many are hanging in there.

11:56 p.m.: WHY OH WHY did Ruiz bother throwing? Upton was going to beat that. Oy freakin’ vay. Error, tie game.

11:56 p.m.: Not sure if “Eva” is a super-insulting chant, Phils fans.

11:55 p.m.: Upton steals, Longoria needs a single to tie. Ugh.

11:55 p.m.: You went, Pena! Strikeout!

11:51 p.m.: And Upton’s younger brother Justin is supposed to be as talented or more talented. Yikes.

11:50 p.m.: Wow, Upton can fly. C’mon, Mad Dog, roll two (that’s “induce a double play” for you non-infielders).

11:48 p.m.: Madson has a tough job here. Let’s go, Mad Dog!

11:46 p.m.: “There’s one thing…we’re nudists.” And the guy lets them in the car. Did he put down a blanket or something? And why the heck doesn’t he just say “Oh, never mind” and leave the dumbass naked balloonists to find their own way home?

11:45 p.m.: Jimmy Rollins. Why don’t you bunt, Jimmy? Lay one down, get on base again.

11:44 p.m.: Geoff can’t get ‘er done. Oh well.

11:41 p.m.: Geoff Jenkins! I like this move.

11:40 p.m.: Will you be leaving work for a break to get your free Taco Bell taco?

11:39 p.m.: I guess I should be grateful they haven’t shown the Rocky statue or Art Museum steps. However, I’ll retract that statement if I could see McCarver tripping and falling all the way down the steps.

11:38 p.m.: One more shot of the Liberty Bell, and I will vomit. Y’know, there are other things in Philly besides the Liberty Bell and the corner where Geno’s and Pat’s Steaks are.

11:36 p.m.: Not that there’s anything wrong with all these armed forces folks singing “God Bless America,” but didn’t this job used to belong to professionals?

11:35 p.m.: YES! K’d him! Great job, Scott.

11:34 p.m.: OK, Scott, put him away here. More outs, faster game, less McCarver.

11:33 p.m.: I appreciate Scott’s “underbeard,” as I like to call it.

11:32 p.m.: C’mon, Scott. Good pitch to start. Excellent.

11:30 p.m.: The difference is Drinkability? No, there really isn’t much of a difference, and some made-up word isn’t helping.

11:29 p.m.: Oy, a walk. I hate walks. Go get ‘im, Cholly.

11:28 p.m.: OK, groundout RBI makes it 4-3. Darnit, another one-run lead. It’s not enough. (It’s never enough.)

11:26 p.m.:This Christie Brinkley DirecTV spot has run approximately 475 times tonight. Luckily, I will always love the “This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy” line.

11:24 p.m.: Take a bow, Jamie…great job. Bullpen time.

11:24 p.m.: Fantastic play by Howard there.

11:23 p.m.: If Gabe Gross hits a 3-run bomb off Moyer, I’m driving to DFW, flying to Philly, and taking over as Phillies manager for the rest of the Series.

11:22 p.m.: And now the Rays are proving me right, as they’re knocking Moyer around a bit.

11:21 p.m.: Getting back to Moyer being allowed to pitch the 7th…I think that’s one of those Charlie Manuel moves. He sticks with his guy, and I get it. But the Phils’ bullpen is awesome.

11:19 p.m.: It’s so weird, how hittable Moyer’s pitches look. I mean, I’ve hit in a batting cage with 80 MPH pitches coming at me. And I got as high as D-III ball.

11:17 p.m.: CRAWFORD WAS OUT AT FIRST! ANOTHER UMPIRING MISTAKE! BRING ON THE ROBOT UMPIRES!!!

11:16 p.m.: Whoa – Moyer comes back out for the 7th? Not sure I’d do that.

11:15 p.m.: He IS the most interesting man in the world. (I love the Dos Equis spots.)

11:12 p.m.: Me gusto Carlos Ruiz.

11:10 p.m.: They just showed submarine-style pitcher Chad Bradford warming up for Tampa Bay. I get that that particular motion is much easier on the arm – then why don’t starting pitchers ever use it? It’s always relievers – Kent Tekulve, Dan Quisenberry, etc.

11:09 p.m.: A shout-out to Jamie Moyer for some awesome pitching tonight. He did his job beautifully, holding the Rays to just one run in six innings. Not bad for an almost-46-year-old.

11:08 p.m.: Ryan Howard…BOMB! (Guess he WILL hit again.)

11:07 p.m.: On the replay, Utley’s bomb looked like it went to the seats that my friend Marty and I used to have.

11:06 p.m.: Oy, Ryan Howard. Will you ever hit again?

11:05 p.m.: Chase Utley…BOMB! 3-1.

The big news!

From today’s Dallas Morning News (online):

“Report: Dallas-Fort Worth has strongest job market in U.S.”

No duh – I got a job!

More details later…suffice it to say that I’ll be a Senior Copywriter, mostly direct marketing to start, for a rapidly growing agency.

Really psyched to start next Tuesday!

Release the Kraken!

If you recognize that quote from the classic “Clash of the Titans,” then I salute you.

I’m about to unleash my own Kraken – which is to say, I’m about to send an amazing amount of unsolicited e-mails to potential employers.

I’m doing a gigamegaload of online research, and when that’s completed, I’ll be directing the aforementioned lucky souls to this blog.

Here, they can read my innermost (and self-censored to remain professional) thoughts, see my work samples and resume, and best of all, brighten their day with a laugh. (Man, I’m humble.)

So I will soon see a large spike in blog visits, and I’ll be seen by everybody who’s anybody in the DFW marketing world.

By Zeus’ beard, I welcome you all!

Busy week.

Last Friday, met with a freelance client.

Monday, met with another one.

Tuesday, meeting with a local agency about possible on-site freelance and maybe even full-time gig down the road.

Wednesday through Friday, writing the entire Web site for the first two clients mentioned.

This Wednesday will be three weeks since the interview I had, which has yielded no response whatsoever. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think that’s all that cool.

What some people pay for a copywriter’s expertise

Check out what they want for $0-$20 an hour…

Copy Writer
Company:
Hourly Rate:$0-20
Location:
Dallas, Texas
Description
Copy Writer

Write copy for advertising and web pieces with a focus on selling
aspects of the company and products offered via the company internet
magazine and global emails.

Responsibilities include art direction, copywriting, desktop
publishing, graphic design, photo direction, computer-illustration,
print production, contractor and vendor coordination, and production
supervision.

Requirements: Four year degree preferred