Heck yeah, it’s random (MySpace blog from 11.29.07)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Heck yeah, it’s random
Current mood: savage

More random ramblings.

Since when are women’s sunglasses so freakin’ huge? Are they taking fashion tips from cataract patients? The only people who should wear huge sunglasses are, well, clowns. Literally.

I have a long commute. I see a lot of stuff on the road that I have to question:

BUMPER STICKERS
If I can figure out your life story and overall philosophy from three or four stickers on the bumper of your vehicle, chances are I won’t like you if we ever met in the real world. Yes, you, the guy in the big black pickup truck with old chestnuts like: “Bush/Cheney in ’04,” “My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student” or anything NRA-related.

And also you, the hippie lady in the beat-up 1992 VW with “Follow Your Bliss” and “Practice Random Acts of Kindness.” While I may agree with some of your views, I think the patchouli stench might make me nauseous.

OTHER CAR STICKERS
I see all these soccer moms and dads with their kid’s name, school, the sport they play and their uniform number on their car. Is this the dumbest thing ever? I can understand being proud of your child. But in an age of sickies and deviant criminals, aren’t you just pointing out “hey, here’s my kid, Mr. Soon-to-be-seen-on-Dateline’s-To-Catch-A-Predator-with-Chris-Hansen?”

Yep, little Rylee (or Rilee or Ryley or whatever) is your pride and joy, playing volleyball for Central High School and wearing 14. Problem is, now Sickie McGee the Pedophile knows a LOT about her and where to find her. Good parenting job.

DRIVERS ON CELL PHONES
Yeah, this is not exactly a “new” issue or one that hasn’t been discussed before. But this morning, I saw a soccer mom with huge sunglasses driving a giant SUV shouting into her cell phone (in the left hand) and wildly gesturing (with her right hand). Yes, that does mean that NO HANDS WERE ON THE STEERING WHEEL. Going anywhere from 55 MPH-70 MPH on the Dallas North Tollway with no hands. No wonder there are accidents 2-3 times a week.

BAD BREATH
I can talk about this because I sometimes suffer from halitosis. (When I have it, it’s halitosis–a medical condition. When others have it, it’s just stank breath.) But there is like NO good way to tell somebody that their breath could use some minty freshness. Some people have built Web sites to send “anonymous” messages, but it’s not like you always have the e-mail of the 7-11 clerk handy.

AIRPLANE PEANUTS
What is the deal…just kidding.

WRITING
Just because you can type, doesn’t mean you can write. Frankly, it doesn’t mean you can communicate effectively. That’s what makes me so scared about our e-mail-driven world, that one wrong word choice or phrase can be incredibly destructive. The next time you’re pounding out an e-mail to a colleague at work or a family member or whoever, just consider what it is you’re saying and how you’re saying it. Please?

That’s it for now. Get back to work.

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