A spam I got, with snarky comments

From Mr Mohamed Ilar
Sunday, April 19, 2009 12:32 PM

Dear Good Friend, (I like this. I have no idea who this is, but maybe s/he is assuming I will become a Good Friend if I give them money.)

How are you together with your family members?I think all is well. (So you’re a psychic as well as a spamming thief. Interesting!) Despite the fact that I did not know you in person or have i seen you before (Hmm…this would seem to contradict your previous statement. But let us continue anway…) but due to the reliable revelation,(Whoa, you’ve had a revelation? Why didn’t you say so sooner?) I decided to share this lucrative opportunity with you, I have no other choice,(Really? I’m It? You don’t have a family member or friend to turn to? That’s so sad!) so kindly consider this message as vital, believing that sooner or later we will be multi millonaires, (OK, the lack of a period at the end of this sentence really bugs me. Even more than the empty promise of multi millionaire-dom.)

First and foremost, I have to introduce myself to you. (Shouldn’t you have led off with this?) I am MR.MOMHAMED (Where’d the extra M come from in your name? Above, your name was Mohamed.) ILAR, THE FOREIGN OPERATIONS MANAGER OF OUR BANK (Which bank? I used to have an account with His Bank, but not Our Bank) here in my country, BURKINA FASO WEST AFRICA. I am married with two children. (This is pertinent information for our business deal. What are their names and ages?)

I want you to assist me in other (In other what? In other ways?) to transfer the sum of TWENTYT FIVE, FIVE Million United States Currency ($25.5,000,000.00) (Should I be going into business with someone who can’t spell Twenty – much less his own name? Maybe…) into your reliable account as the Next of Kin to our Foreign Business partner , the original owner of the fund. He was a foreigner and a multi company holder who died in a plane crash with his family years ago, he deposited the fund in our bank for his business expansion in Africa unfortunately he met this sudden and untimely death and the worst thing that happened was the wife who suppose to be the successor of the account died alongside with him. (This kinda sounds like fraud. You’re asking me to pretend to be Next of Kin to some guy whose name you won’t give me? I’m a good liar, but not that good.)

Since the deceased left no body behind to claim the fund, as a foreigner, you are in better position for that, and no body will come for the claim after you have applied. (You’ve just given me a good idea for a zombie movie. Will you invest twentyt five, five in “They Came Back for The Money?”) If you are ready to assist me, set up a new bank account or forward to me any one avialable so that the process will commence .

I will guide you on how you should apply for the claim so that everything will be smooth and correct (If I want to be smooth and correct, I’ll turn to Gillette. Or Billy Dee Williams.). After the transfer, i will resign and come over to your country for the sharing of the fund 50/50 base on the fact that it is two man business. (My cousin was in a two man business once. In college. Long story.)

Finally, note that you are not taking any risk because there will be a legal back up as we commence. (No risk? Giving my account information to some guy who can’t spell his own name? And who is our legal back up? Can we get Denny Crane?)
Further information will be given to you as soon as I receive your reply.

Fill this information
Your Full Names……………………(OK, well technically I have three names.)
Mailing Address ……………………
Phone Number …………………….
Age…………………………………….
Occupation…………………………..
conutry ………………………………(Is Co-Nutry the art of being nutty with another person?)

Sincerely,
MR.MOMHAMED ILAR (Hey, your name still has the extra M.)

Dear Mohamed/Momhamed:
I to write you back in style in which you are used to. Guiding light told me not to provide funds to you in hopes that I do not lose my money to crooks in country foreign.

Have faith, be clean, and your account details to send to me instead.
Yours in trust,

Harmley

Phillies Report, 8/1/09

So it was in this blog a few days back where I begged the Phillies to go get Roy Halladay no matter what.

And they went out and got Cliff Lee from Cleveland, giving up none of the top 3 prospects that they were holding back from Toronto.

And surprisingly, I’m cool with it.

Sure, Halladay is an absolute stud, an ace, a #1 pitcher.

But Cliffie isn’t a slouch either. Last year’s AL Cy Young Award winner, he’s pretty much been a B, B+ kind of pitcher. Not elite, but very very good. And now that he’s on a better team that will give him run support, he’s definitely a great #1-B to go with Cole Hamels.

Lee is actually a year or so younger than Halladay, too.

Honestly, it seems like it came down to the fact that Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi – clinging to his job – wanted back the moon for Halladay, and didn’t get it. So now he’s got to try to rebuild around Halladay for a run at next year, or deal him in the offseason with much less leverage than he had before yesterday’s trade deadline.

Good work, Ruben Amaro, Jr.. When your #1 option became un-gettable, you found a very good #2. Who may turn out to be a solid #1 anyway.

HP Customer Service Update, II

Well, I called the other night – because they didn’t live up to their “within 24-48 hours” promise.

Case Manager Justin went through my file and determined that my laptop – a unit that we received in January 2007
to replace the crappy one from summer 2006 that died – was indeed out of warranty.

In other words, we’re SOL (sh!t out of luck).

So it’s either get it fixed from some dude on Craigslist, go to Worst Buy and wait for Nerd Squad (don’t want to give them any free advertising), or suck it up, donate it, and go buy a new computer.

Blerg.