#Buzzwords — Leveraging Synergy for a Decade

(NOTE: I wrote this 10 years ago. And it’s as relevant as ever.)


Becoming a Market-Maker and Maximizing Our Infrastructure

Excerpted from a speech given by Hugh Fuhmizims and Ralph “Buzz” Whirds

at Tech Today 2002—Tuscaloosa

Thinking “out of the box” is critical in order to ramp up and deliver a robust platform.  To bring to market this dynamic and visionary business model of the future, it is essential to establish bandwidth, capacity and scalability in a seamless manner.

We must think vertically and horizontally when constructing our networks.  We must be granular and comprehensive in our messaging, marketing and media management.  We must be proactive and take the initiative, but also take the time to analyze ongoing trends.

It is only by integrating these concepts that we can be empowered to create a premier global portfolio.  Truly, our interface must be interactive and diverse.  No amount of disintermediation or outsourcing can stand in our way.

Together, we will be enabled in our team-oriented agenda.  Onward to priority-changing social capital and success!

© 2002 by HDR Entertainment.

Random Ramblings: Wednesday Night #Comedy

If I suddenly had a full head of hair again, I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Not a clue.

I wonder if anyone has ever been killed by a big sculpture. “Cause of Death: Art.”

It should be illegal to name someone William Williams, Robert Roberts or any other variation.

The gym parking lot should have mandatory workout stations.

I wonder what the longest URL ever was/is. Is there a limit? Could you put an essay before your “.com?”

If you haven’t been to a McDonald’s PlayPlace since you were a kid, do NOT go. You will be insanely jealous of how awesome they are now. 

Not sure I could ever get one of those car wraps to advertise while I’m driving. Because sometimes I am impatient with other drivers and make mean faces.* (*Understatement.)

I haven’t been to a banquet in a really long time. I haven’t received an award in a really long time. Connection?

Actually, I lied. I won my 2010 fantasy baseball league. And it was glorious. But no banquet.

Dear Guys Who Use an Electric Razor to Shave While Driving: So you just go around all day with little hairs all over your neck, shirt and pants?

Oh, Rick Springfield on a billboard. Your stubble makes you relevant.

If your company has a “combined 140 years of experience,” that means something. It means you can do math.

New Policy: If I see another driver picking his/her nose, I will hold up my phone to pretend I am snapping their picture.

I want to study the psychology of numbers that end in -9 and prices that end in $0.99.

Passed by “Ultimate Furniture.” Immediately imagined The Ultimate Warrior running from end to end at top speed and giving rambling speeches over the P.A. system.

When someone says to you “don’t be a stranger,” you should respond with “I couldn’t possibly be a stranger. I’ve been your nephew for 39 years.”


Random Ramblings: Monday Night Comedy

I think I need to start using “Cool beans” more in regular conversation.

Is it OK to use “Night-Blooming Jasmine Shower Gel” in the morning?

If you can smoke a cigarette while doing your job, you’re either not working hard or you have a super-easy job.

Some people sniff so hard, you’d think their brain was trying to escape.

Tagline seen on a truck: “Delightful service through innovation.” I think they’re probably over-promising.

Unfunny but needs to be said: THE FAR LEFT LANE = THE FAST LANE = THE PASSING LANE. If someone is “on your tail,” GET OUT OF THE WAY.

I keep waiting for a talent scout to discover me, but every day that passes, I get older, balder and fatter.

It seems like a store named “Shop ‘n’ Go” is passive-aggressively telling me to “buy something and Get The F Out.”

I’m not sure why you have to name that place “Condoms To Go” — were people buying them and using them in the store and/or parking lot?

Confession: I have not had my hands “at 10 and 2″ on the steering wheel since 1989.